Parenting Tips to Improve Your Child’s Self-Esteem

Parenting is tough, isn’t it? Parenting is perhaps one of the most difficult responsibilities most adults face. That is why the vast majority of parents make mistakes. We can’t blame them though. After all, only psychologists know ALL about parenting. After having graduated with a degree in psychology, I learned that good parenting is a science, not an art. That is good news indeed!

Why? It means that there are scientifically proven ways of raising happy, confident, resilient, and well-behaved children. All we have to do is to read good parenting books or articles written by psychologists. When it comes to parenting, we don’t have to rely on guesswork or ‘commonsense’ anymore. Isn’t that wonderful?

Here are 5 parenting tips that will raise your children’s self-esteem.

1. Give your children eye contact.

Always give your kids eye contact when you speak with them or when they are trying to gain your attention. It shows them that they are important to you.

2. Respect your children.

Children have feelings and their feelings are easily hurt. Saying ‘sorry’, ‘please’, ‘thank you’, and ‘excuse me’ work wonders on building our children’s self-esteem. It also teaches our kids to respect others and to be polite. And they will become more popular with their peers and teachers too.

3. Notice your children when they are good.

Many parents are firefighters. They rush in to the scene with sirens blaring when there is a disaster. And they ignore their kids when they are being good. Children who receive more criticism than praise in their childhood will end up having a low opinion of themselves. Instead of looking at the bad, it is better to pounce on our kids when they are good and praise them lavishly for it. Even naughty kids will become better behaved as a result for they crave our love and attention.

4. Be an impeccable role model.

No one is perfect, of course! The challenge is to change ourselves for the better when our kids are born. That is the time to quit smoking, using swear words, being sarcastic, acting irresponsibly and so on. You could get your spouse to remind you to be good when you are being naughty. I have asked my wife to point out to me when I misbehave. And I gleefully do the same for her.

For children, as for everyone else, actions speak louder than words. In time, your child will start behaving like you. A child who knows she is good will feel good about herself. If you don’t believe me, ask Mother Theresa.

5. Be a child. Sometimes.

The adult working world can be serious, grim, boring and nasty. It is difficult after a hard day’s work at the office dealing with bossy directors, irate customers, and backstabbing colleagues to let down your hair, put on your party hat and have a rollicking good time with your kids at home. However, give it your best shot.

Having fun is good for you and your kids. At the very least, you will keep that dreaded stroke or heart attack at bay! And live to a ripe old age to be bugged by your grandchildren.

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How to Be a Good Mom When You Are Raising Your Child by Yourself

It can be hard being a single mom and trying to provide the best life for your children. You may feel that you just don’t have enough time or money to be the mom you want to be. Your kids might not be old enough to know that you wish you could do more for them, but you know, and that makes it even harder. While it can be a little overwhelming at times, you should realize that there are little things you can do that will go a long way for your kids.

Give Time More Quality – If you’re a single mom you probably spend a bulk of your time working to provide for your family. This might fill you with feelings of guilt as you wish you could be a stay at home mom and be more involved in your child’s upbringing. With the little time you do have with your kids it makes it all the more important to make it quality time. You might be tired when you get home from work and have to fix dinner, but if you put forth a little bit of effort you can really tune in and connect with your kids while you eat. Many families turn dinner time into mayhem and miss the opportunity to bond over a meal.

No Guilt Trips – One problem that single moms run into from time to time is letting their kids know they’re a strain on the situation. You might hear a single mother tell her kids that if it weren’t for them she’d have more time and money to spend on herself. It’s not your kid’s fault that you had them, and they’re not intentionally creating hardship for you. Don’t make them feel as if they’re a burden or as if they’re keeping you from the life you can’t have. You need to accept that they are your life until they’re out of your care, so try to make their life and yours as best as you can.

Make One on One Time – If you have more than one child be sure to schedule time and activities with each of them individually. If it means finding someone to watch your other children, you should do it. While time together as a family is important, it’s also important to do thing one on one with your kids. You need to develop and nurture your relationship with each child on an individual level. You’ll find that this bonding time will give you a better understanding of your kids and will create memories that are special just between the two of you. It will end up improving the family bond as a whole as well.

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Why Omega 3 Supplements Are Great Nutrition Sources For Children

Children under 12 are at a stage of their life where physical growth and brain development occur at the fastest rate. These are vital developmental years of their lives, and proper nutrition during this stage will go a long way in ensuring wholesome growth.

Omega 3 supplements are recommended for children because of the many health benefits associated with these fatty acids. The polyunsaturated fats are essential for developmental growth according to the University of Maryland Medical Center. An average diet might not include a sufficient intake of Omega 3 fatty acids, and therefore supplements are necessary to boost Omega 3 levels.

Development

Omega 3 supplements supports growth in infants and children, especially in retina and brain formation. Normal brain development in infants and children requires a daily intake of Omega 3 as it is one of the main components of brain cell membranes. Infant cognition also improves with proper intake of Omega 3.

Cardiovascular Disease

The potential benefit of reducing cardiovascular disease is another huge reason to consume Omega 3 supplements. The American Heart Association states that risks for heart disease start in early childhood, and an early diet rich in Omega 3 fatty acids will help reduce these risks. Children with genetic heart disease factors, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol are advised to supplement their diet with omega 3 fish oil supplements. Children who do not eat fatty fish such as salmon, tuna, and sardines should also increase their Omega 3 intake through supplements.

Continuous research is being conducted in the area of omega 3 fish oil use among children. As more evidence for its benefits are being discovered, children who have poor diet practices should consume Omega 3 supplements for better nutrition.

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Parenting Yoga

I walked into yoga class and was met by a mom who wanted to tell me about what had happened when she’d read a book I recommended with her children. It was a small class the first Monday of the New Year, and others jumped in with parenting challenges. Our instructor, newly married, watched, smiled, listened, and then brought it all back to yoga with this statement: “There is a principle called ‘non-attachment to the fruit of your actions’.” Others went, “Huh?” and I said, “Ahh, I get it.” He might as well have said “non-attachment to the fruit of my womb.”

You see, I am the parent of one 18-year-old and one 20-year-old. I have reached the point in parenting where I am observing the fruits of my actions for the past 20 years. Much of the time, this delights me. I am thrilled to be the parent of my children, and I love who they are. Sometimes, however, I am more challenged. If one is having a rough time, or acting insensitively, or testing rules for the umpteenth time with their teen/young adult logic-perspective, I get frustrated. I wonder what I can do differently. I struggle to remain the calm, loving, approachable parent I want to be.

According to this principle of non-attachment, I need to let go of both that feeling of responsibility for their actions whether they are doing well (yea! I’m a great parent!) or when they are struggling (woe! where did I go wrong?) Ok, I’m exaggerating. A little. But I imagine there are those of you who understand exactly what I mean. Letting go means, well, letting go.

Many parents want to take credit for how their kids turn out, especially if they turn out to be productive, contributing members of society. Just witness all the Christmas/Holiday letters full of our kids’ accomplishments. They shine like little gold stars on pseudo-parenting report cards which are based on some unrealistic and fictional scale we have manufactured for ourselves.

When our children struggle, some of us withdraw to suffer in silence and without support. Others blame society, the schools, our own upbringing, and more. Some of us are brave enough to reach out and find trusted friends in whom to confide, and there find not only a willing ear, but also a similar story. It’s my belief that all parents need support and love for who they are, validation that they’ve been doing the best they can, and mentoring to up their game when needed.

Back in yoga class, my instructor went on to remind us that it is our goal to find what is stable and comfortable in our poses. Not to do the perfect downward facing dog or plank or boat pose, but to find where our bodies are stable and comfortable in the pose. I thought about how I parent when I am off balance, unstable, uncomfortable. It’s not pretty.

However, when I feel stable and comfortable in who I am, how much I love my children, where my values and boundaries are–then I have a much better perspective. I’m less attached to the immediate outcome–whether they are happy, sad, angry, saying I’m unreasonable, rolling their eyes, etc. When I parent from my stable/comfortable place, I am more interested in how I am sowing the seeds of communication and values; how I am being true to myself as a parent and a person. That’s my journey. What they do with all I’ve given them–the love, the boundaries, the affirmations, the criticism, the confusion, the opportunities, the humor, all of the ups and downs, the good and bad, the beautiful and the ugly of our family–what they do with all of that, is their journey.

This means that part of my journey as a parent is to do what I need to do to parent from a stable and comfortable place. Not comfortable as in “not letting my child feel discomfort” or “never allowing myself to feel discomfort at my child’s discomfort”–but that deep comfort of knowing I’m doing the right thing; listening to the voice that tells me when I’m uncomfortable with a decision or action. Stable, not as in rigid, but as in, this is the essence of who I am, and that’s not going anywhere. When I take care of myself so that I am stable and comfortable in my me-ness, then I am a better parent.

And that’s what I learned about positive parenting in yoga today. Om.

Amy Johnson, MSW, provides Training, Education and Coaching for parents and others who work with and care for children and teens. She is passionate about parenting and has over 25 years experience working with toddlers through teens. Whether you’re dealing with sassy-ness or sexuality issues, she can help! For more info, go to http://www.diligentjoy.com/.

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